I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
