We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
