I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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