Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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