i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize