So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
