Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
