He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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