I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
