what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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