She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I would fuck him just for his dog
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
