dude i'm inner monologue high
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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