One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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