Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize