He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize