How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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