we're chasing vodka with high fives
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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