Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
