you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
