I wannas sexs uuuuu
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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