Are we in a gay sports bar?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
