Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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