the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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