there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
