Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
