you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
