If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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