just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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