we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize