I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
