btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If I die, sorry about rent.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
