mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
