i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize