dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
