ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
