I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
