that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
