Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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