check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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