My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
