The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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