Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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