she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
