You work out of a Hotel?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
