Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm always down for nudity.
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