Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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