we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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