Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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