It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
