just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
