The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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