Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
