:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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