Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
