Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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