yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
