He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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