he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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