I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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