Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
