I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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