3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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