My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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