I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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