So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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