My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize